8 Community-Based Alternatives to Calling the Police When You’re Really High and Scared
So you tried mary jane for the first time and now you’re freaking out. Well, instead of calling 911 and having the cops show up to your old high school’s football field and causing a scene and having to explain to the junior varsity track coach that everything’s fine and they can keep doing their practice…. instead of all that, try these alternatives.
Call the Substance Abuse Center
and waste their time by making them explain to you that “you’re not gonna die from marijuana and we’re here to help people who actually need it”
Google “can you overdose on marijuana”
because you’re not sure if they’re correct (they might also be high)
Call your mom
and tell her you did weed and you’re so sorry you’re such a disappointment so that she can say “you’ve never done weed? you’re literally 29 years old”
See what happens
Call a friend from middle school
and finally get an answer as to what happened with your friendship
Pray
because there might actually be a god?
Call the JCPenney in your hometown
and ask if Sandy is still the manager there
Wait a bit
just wait it out (this one actually works every time)
