Here’s an Attempt to List Every Person That’s Ever Existed

The Progressive loyalty program is for everyone!

And here’s a :15:

And here are some other people who can be part of the loyalty program:

• Virgos

• Right-handed people

• Fathers

• People with skin

• Businesspeople who call themselves storytellers

• Golden retriever boyfriends

• Those who face their fears by becoming them

• Hard-working mothers who just can’t catch a break

• Self-proclaimed “mom friends”

• Ted talkers

• INFJs

• Girlbosses

• Windmill enthusiasts

• People who live within 50 feet of a windmill

• Third wheels 

• Volunteer firefighters 

• Errand friends

• Podcasters

• Your friend who won’t stop having kids

• People who say “I was gonna say”

• People who decided they’re just gonna have a pizza tonight